The Old And The New

Constantly on the verge of tears,Head banging on and onPain,The constant plague,Sadness the only thing I always ever feelConstantly on the verge of suicideThe need to end it all growing so maddeningly monstrous The fear in my heart,Not of slitting wrists and going outOf staying alive in this desolate wasteland of a lifeWill I survive???Will…

I don’t feel like myselfI feel used and dirtyI feel exhaustedI feel nothing most of the timesJust this dark nothingnessLike a cloud always hovering over,Drenching me in darknessHow to stop it?I don’t know if I can Everyday I live I inch closer and closerTo the thing I fear mostSomeday soon fear will winI will do…

I was on the verge of itI was at the edgeI was engulfed in my darkest momentI was so close toSo close I could almost taste itSo monumentally scaredIt was in my blood, heart and soulIt is from my deepest darkest depths It was everywhere around meI felt dirty and tainted It was all I…

Outcast in my own flesh Ostracized by mind Eternally striving not to be me Mirror mirror on the wall When I gaze into your depths Deceive me I am beautiful smart better I am MORE!!

I live and die every night Torture the norm Suffering an old friend Sanity, He pops up every now and then My demons are King now Spinning me in circles I live and die every night My demons have me

Left to my own devicesTools of destructionCries of help echo through the soulFear and desperation in their voices On a Friday night,The turn up keeps callingAlone in a desolate landscape Drown self in toxicity Numb the pain Hide the painLet darkness run rampant Fill the void with it Pain, I delve deep in it, Nightly…

You can feel itDeep within huffing and puffingSpreading terror Clawing it’s way up from fiery depths Fighting to get out Thirsting to wreack mayhem and destruction Darkness growing Heart full of tortured soulsMind full of terror Fear takes hold and that beast never let’s goGrowing stronger as I grow weaker Death creeping in It’s all…

Darkness fills you up, Day and night It claws it’s way through Little by little digging deep Till all you know is fear You feel it, You always feel it Every single second you feel it You want to tear everything up Reach deep inside and kill it all Take a noose and suffocate it…

The blade starts looking real tempting, Middle of the night Heart full of darkness and fear Eyes full of hurt it’s pouring outDo I put it to my arm or my neck? New scars or ending it all? Sleeping tonight or sleeping forever? New scars seem appealing but death sounds better I don’t have to…

To the beautiful souls We lose every 40 seconds I understand The daily struggle of battles fought Some won while most end in tears and blood The chaos that is your mind The abyss that holds the soul hostage The fear, the running, the hurt, the emptiness Holding back tears while with the masses Have…