How will I survive
When everything points to death
When in my darkest moments
That is all I can think of

I spend my nights holding soul and heart
Afraid to let go and lose
So I grip tight like a blade on skin
Feel the pain,
Atleast I feel something other than perpetual darkness
Other than fear
Closing in like a monster in the dark
Tears falling in muffled screams
Thoughts spinning like Russian roulette
I hope I get the bullet next round

Broken even more when it passes
Dark thoughts don’t leave me
Never ebbing
Pushing self to the edge
To despair and darkness
To the end of it all.